How To Throw a Successful Bachelor Party In Connecticut
This section will include some activities that can be included in a bachelor party. You will have to use your judgment as to whether these acts are acceptable and will be tolerated. We are merely providing you with a list to start with; how you use it is your own responsibility.
Plan Ahead- As with anything, you've needed to remember the 6-p principle: Proper Planning prevents piss-poor performance. Things to plan include:
- Will the stripper come to you or will you go to them?
- Do you have an adequate location?Do you have adequate transportation?
- What exactly do you want to see?
Timing- Try not to have the party on the eve of the wedding. This is very bad for everyone involved including your friend. It is highly likely that he will be spending a good part of their life saving the following day. They will want to be sober for it. A week in advance is a good idea. Even a month in advance is acceptable. Friday and Saturday nights are best.
Drinking- What party wouldn't have a lot of drinking? Since bachelor parties are all about letting it hangout, Drink Harder.
Punishing the Groom- Plan on some form of punishment or public humiliation for the guest of honor. Making them look like an idiot is always appropriate. The old ball and chain will let everyone you encounter know who is being taken off the market. A stupid T-shirt is always a classic. Perhaps something you made yourself with a magic marker.
Watching Porno Flicks- The rule of thumb here is that porno flicks at a bachelor party are meant not to be arousing, but to be disgusting. Try to find ones with titles like "What's that stink?" or "Big Mama jama". A good bachelor party porno should be painful to watch. After all, who wants to stand around the party with a stiffie? It is better to gross-out your friends. Any titles that are non-english speaking are good.
Gambling- For some reason gambling is sometimes present at bachelor parties. It is appropriate for a cut of the house winnings to go to the "stag" (The fund that is given to the groom at the end of the party) Be warned though, sometimes the stag is spent by the best man on lap dances. All gambling should stop when the strippers start.
Strippers- Strippers are a MUST at any self-respecting bachelor party.
Money- Crazy times equal lots of money. Gambling -bring as much as you can lose, Strippers- Bring at least $50+, Bars- How drunk do you want to get?
Drinking Games- You are going to need to drink fast and what better way to do it than drinking games. ( well, you could just drink shots). Quarters (sometimes called quarter bounce) are good, so are others like "asshole", "Thumper", "Viking". I'm sure you know a few. NO?? You don't know any drinking games? Do you know how to drink?
A "SHOW" (lesbians, barn animals, power tools, Etc.) Want a bachelor party that everyone will remember? You'll want to have a show! The crazier the better.
Eating Greasy food- Pizza is good, Buffalo wings, a gigantic sub, burgers, friend chicken, all of these are appropriate for a bachelor party. The only rule you must follow is that no one can make any of the food (unless it is a barbecue) Everything must be purchased. Remember that this is all about excess, not mom homemade recipe.
Dirty Jokes- OK, its time ell the really raunchy ones. You know, the ones that are not acceptable in the office.
Public Humiliation - In an earlier section we discussed punishing the groom and bride, but here you should make sure that the punishment is administered in public humiliation includes making the bride do a checklist of dares, or having the groom stripped down to his underwear at the local titty-bar.
A Band - Think of a band as a bunch of people you don't know, that will eat your food, watch you strippers, and take your money all too hear a few songs that sound similar to the ones you hear on the radio.
Food - You probably won't be expected to truly feed everyone, however you should provide something to eat. It could be potluck or it could be included in the admission charge (in case of a bachelor party). Make sure you have y handle on the
- Type
- Amount
- Timing
- Provider (caterer, pizza place, your mom, etc.)
Facility - If the party is going to be a little larger than you can handle in your house, you can:
- Hold it at a friend's house! Or
- Have it outside (as in a cookout)
- Rent a hall - This is a common solution for bachelor parties because they can be a little rowdy and halls generally free of anything breakable.
No matter where you have the party you still may need some items such as tables, chairs, and maybe even tablecloths. Usually rental companies (look up "rental" in the yellow pages) have these items at reasonable prices.
Transportation - Make sure that someone is going to be responsible for transporting your crowd of crazed partygoers to their destination. Renting a Limousine is nice but is quite expensive ($300 or so is not unreasonable for 8 people for the night). Renting a large passenger van is usually not very expensive and they can carry as many as 15 people (usually about $70 but you'll need a sober friend to drive). This might make a rental van a good alternative. Make sure you have a responsible driver that can handle staying out until everyone is dropped off.
Itinerary - Sometimes it helps if you know where you will be going. If you call ahead, most strip clubs will waive the cover charge for bachelor parties. If not, they will surely save the bride or groom-to-be a place down front. Don't tell everyone the interary in advance will cause the future spouse to find out (trust us, they will). Keep it a secret until the party begins.
Be Sneaky - You should make sure that you have something up your sleeve. Remember, this party is not thrown to honor the soon to be married, it is to convince them that they are making the right decision. Why not send them off with a reminder of how cruel everyone except their spouse can be. Here are some ideas:
- Replace strippers with dominatrix. I was at a party where the dominatrix dressed the groom up in a dress. It was hilarious (unless you were the groom).
- No pictures are allowed
- No telling their future spouse where you will be.
Hookers - You might want to think twice about this. Even if you have thought that is might be exciting, have you considered these factors:
- Your friends will either be disgusted or will be pounding on the door to be next.
- You may not be the first that night. Heck, you might not even be in the first ten.
- You are one condom thickness away from a venereal disease.
- They are faking.
- You really aren't good
- It's illegal
More Drinking- If someone isn't out of control, you need to drink some more.
Vomiting- Any self-respecting groom will end up to plastered to perform any acts that aren't allowed. It's a fine line however, between being too plastered to pop and puking. A good best man can show the groom past that fine line.
Getting caught- For the guys only! This is because women never get caught doing anything wrong. Also because most women are too goody-goody to do anything worth getting caught over. A warning though, there is always a rat-bastard in every bunch. If yours is too close to your future spouse you might find yourself in this situation. You are Fucked. Be especially wary of the brides "platonic friends" who are really just repressed.
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